This weekend I found myself wanting to make some cash and to do something fun. So I got on over to Craigslist and under the Help Wanted, Events, I found a gig as a cashier at a carnival about an hour away. I had applied on Friday and the position had been filled, but early Saturday I received a call and the position was offered to me. YES! Sounded like fun and I've always wanted to go to Wilcox, where the Apple Orchards are and it's even apple season. Super Cool!
Twelve to twelve, a twelve hour shift of standing basically in one place and then the clean up! Ugh!
I was exhausted and every inch of my body hurt and I had an hour drive home at midnight. The owner felt sorry for this old lady and told me to come in Sunday at noon instead of eleven. Okay.
I thought of my sister and her recent breast cancer surgery and her unwillingness to rest and take care of herself. Although I've accepted that she gets to live her life the way that she wants to, it also saddens me that we're a society where there are so many taboos around self-care.
Then I took another look at what I just did and will do again next weekend. The very same thing, pushing through in order to make a buck. Now, that's not the whole truth of it all, but that's the part that surfaced for me and I was able to understand my sister's decision better.
I also got to feel how it feels to be so completely exhausted that you can't speak. Of course, I've felt this many times in my life, but in the near past, I live a pretty stress free life. I was having a hard time understanding when my current roommate arrives home from work, he grunts like a caveman for hello. Now I get it! You're just too exhausted to do or say anything else.
To balance it all out, Sunday morning I took the time to explore Wilcox, a produce stand and an orchard before my shift started. It's fall and the corn maze, hay rides, pumpkin picking and children laughing all were in full swing. The hour drive back on Sunday evening in the desert twilight was pure magic.
Being able to see things from another person's perspective is helpful in living life free of judgements and with compassion. And the ultimate hope is that we can be as compassionate and judgement free for ourselves.
Remember to Be Good to Yourself!